I have noticed a growing trend amongst the gentlemen that ring the chat line, it has always been an aspect of the job but seems to be on the increase. Many of the callers want your private number or to give you theirs, often in the assumption that you are a truly horny bitch who is gagging for 24/7 fuck fests with them; these 'boys' I can handle, I mean ME pay (on my phone bill) to call THEM! 1. We are not allowed to exchange personal details, and will be terminated with extreme prejudice if we do. 2. I only do the job for the money, I'm a happily married mother, and not a nymphomaniac who will shag anyone who asks. 3. I don't look much like my online persona, the hair eyes and skin tone are the same, but online girl is a size 12 with pneumatic tits, (unless you are calling my large lady persona) I am not. My online persona will laugh at all your jokes and agree that Benny Hill is the funniest thing since ...well ever, I will and do not... Online girl loves stockings and high heels, I think they are tarty and they make the top of my thighs rub together until they resemble raw liver, you get the picture... these (usually young) men are easily rebuffed with a simple no sorry we are not allowed to do that, and if they continue to pester hang up (with polite prior warning). More difficult to rebuff (although it has to be done) are the men we have a rapport with, and who ring us back time after time, you kind of build a relationship with them, often they started ringing chat lines because they crave the intimacy of a womans voice, and the interaction between two people who get on, and were perhaps ambitious career orientated men who haven't had much time to form long term bonds,or divorced/widowed men who haven't wanted to dip their toes back in the dating pool yet, or have and been burned, or perhaps have health issues that makes it difficult to date. Although I am married and even if I was allowed wouldn't want meet these men it's harder to let them down, I don't like hurting their feelings or shattering the illusion that I truly care for them, and to be honest I do care for them but in a platonic 'I wish I could help them find what they need' sort of way. Some unscrupulous lines advertise as if the girls are unattached and looking to meet up, I was relieved to find when I first came across the problem that the company I work for makes it very clear that it is a paid chat service for entertainment. So if there are any guys out there who use the service and are tempted to try their luck in the hope of free phone sex or more, DON'T, we wont like you for it, and you're chasing a phantasm that doesn't exist.
Working on the chat line does have it's benefits sometimes (other than financial), at certain times of the month during hormonal surges it gets me hornier than a cat with 3 bollocks, you'd be made of stone for some of the things I hear not to turn you on. when I log off my vibrator, or hubby, depending on which comes to hand first gets a real pounding.
Neville the mouse is still happily ensconced behind some wood panelling in the lounge, and seems to have reached a temporary truce with the cats, I leave little treats out for her where the cats can't get at her (or the treats) and they are always gone in the morning. Unfortunately she also seems to like the taste of phone cable, and if I don't unplug and hide it before bed it will have been Nevilled by morning.
Sunday lunch has moved from around oneish, to threeish, as I usually log on for a few hours in the morning to catch my morning glory boys, they are often quick but there are plenty of them. I was lucky to get 3 nice long calls in amongst my grunt and click boys so a reasonable mornings work. A nice simple Sunday roast, chicken with lots of veg and all the trimmings, I couldn't work in the evening after that if I wanted to. The family are strewn around me bloated and sleepy, the scene is dotted with happy cats and the dog in a similar state of bloat, I sigh in contentment as I realise the buggers should leave me alone for a little while, whilst they digest.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Friday, 30 October 2009
rom hooters to norks, shibari and glistening iridescent pools of shimmering spunk
I was listening to the Hooters 'Satellite' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lwYK8EHd_M just before logging on today. Now this got me wishing I could believe in God. The principles, the very basic essence of Christianity is so appealing! Then again all current world religions (that I am aware of)seem to have basically the same cornerstones; don't kill each other, help one another out, share resources (see previous),don't get jealous of anything others have - hot partner, wealth etc. -(because that can lead to breaking cornerstone one), look after your kids because they are the future of the society in which you live, look after your parents and elders because they've been there done that and can help you out, and don't do the sort of things that can spread diseases and malformed descendants (i.e. shag around -and particularly not with immediate family members). Which is a kind of socialism in action as far as I'm concerned. If we all lived more or less by these principles, individually and collectivelly, and most crucially on the grander scale - our governments and religious leaders were properly held to account by these principles. Then whether you attribute it to spirituality or not - we would achieve our fundamental right to have government 'by the people, of the people and for the people' as opposed to our current system which merely seeks to give a thin veneer of legitimacy to those who feel they were born to be a ruling class. Unless this hopeless power crazed greedy hyocritical layer can be swept away and replaced by a system that serves the people we will never achieve the world which would be the better place envisaged by the best ethics espoused by our philosophies and religions.
I was listening to the Hooters 'Satellite' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lwYK8EHd_M just before logging on today. Now this got me wishing I could be
I was listening to the Hooters 'Satellite' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lwYK8EHd_M just before logging on today. Now this got me wishing I could believe in God. The principles, the very basic essence of Christianity is so appealing! Then again all current world religions (that I am aware of)seem to have basically the same cornerstones; don't kill each other, help one another out, share resources (see previous),don't get jealous of anything others have - hot partner, wealth etc. -(because that can lead to breaking cornerstone one), look after your kids because they are the future of the society in which you live, look after your parents and elders because they've been there done that and can help you out, and don't do the sort of things that can spread diseases and malformed descendants (i.e. shag around -and particularly not with immediate family members). Which is a kind of socialism in action as far as I'm concerned. If we all lived more or less by these principles, individually and collectivelly, and most crucially on the grander scale - our governments and religious leaders were properly held to account by these principles. Then whether you attribute it to spirituality or not - we would achieve our fundamental right to have government 'by the people, of the people and for the people' as opposed to our current system which merely seeks to give a thin veneer of legitimacy to those who feel they were born to be a ruling class. Unless this hopeless power crazed greedy hyocritical layer can be swept away and replaced by a system that serves the people we will never achieve the world which would be the better place envisaged by the best ethics espoused by our philosophies and religions.
Why I became a chat line operator, and an introduction to my life
Hi, I'm firefly, I'm a 47 year old married mother of two who's ageing rather well. I'm not putting a picture of myself here, my mother would not be amused to come across her daughters beaming face, proclaiming 'oh yes I suck cock on the phone for a living'. Actually I do three jobs, all part time, one of them being in a professional capacity and slightly unusual, so for the purposes of anonymity I can't tell you what it is.
Anyway, it was a love of shiny things, sweet smelling unguents, and a desire to actually be able to put food on the table that led to me to, one cold October night two years ago, sitting at my dining room table (the room furthest away from my teenage children) with a duvet over my head - as you do - for sound insulation, assuring a well spoken Scottish gentleman that I did indeed understand his need to correct me, and the need for corporal punishment in general, and that yes sir thank you for lashing my bottom with a birch, that was one sir... two sir... 'quavering voice' three sir.. thank you sir... I will be a good girl from now on, and so on. However when I shakily put the phone down nearly three hours later, I was beaming, I can do this I thought as I calculated I'd earned £30ish for the pleasure of sitting in my dining room with a duvet over my head. All I had to worry about now was that the company I'd signed up with wasn't a scam, and that I would actually get my money, and thank god two weeks later I did, and a decent amount more too.
There are lots of people out there who think it's easy to be a chat operator, and that they can do their ironing at the same time etc., well if you want to be a crap operator and are happy with letting your gentlemen (and occasionaly a lady) down then maybe it is. However if you want to give a good service and earn decent money it requires pretty sharp acting skills, a desire to please, a bloody thick skin,a sense of humour, a very very very open mind and an ability to think on your feet. To see an example of how to be a bad chat line operator google Graham Nortons' show with Russell Brand on it, myself and the other girls I have met that work the lines would have had great fun with him, switch off the heavy breathing and actually listen to what the customer is saying is the number one rule.
Disappointed as my 'boys' would be to find out, my life is not one constant round of three somes, and casual sex. I am happily married to a professional man who happens to work in an area where it takes a lifetime to start earning a decent salary. I spend a lot of my time interacting with my kids, my many cats, dog, and large extended family, they all live close by, and it is a bit like the Waltons but with more swearing.
I have a myriad of interests, I loved photography when younger using 'proper' cameras, I can take pictures just fine with a digital camera, it's learning what to do next that's the problem. I love nature in all its glory, I'm not the girl that runs screaming from a mouse or spider...cows that's another matter entirely! I don't have a favourite season I love them all, that is the wonderful thing about living in Britain, the changeability, I'm never bored with the weather. I have many pets, and would have more if my husband didn't keep pointing out the mad cat lady from the Simpsons. In my time I have bred hamsters, mice, tropical fish, have kept gerbils, rabbits, Guinea pigs, a rat called Tiddles, a tortoise, water snails (accidentally), cats and dogs. I love to read, for main genre see at bottom of the page, watch t.v. and cinema. I also enjoy exploring the way science and spirituality are seeming to come together again, and like reading things such as Scientific American, New Scientist, and anything else I stumble upon that catches my eye, for example a post I fell over recently referring to an article about intelligent D.N.A. on the parapsychology and alternative medicine forum. I like new technology, although admit to being a bit of a techno twat and take a while to find out everything my new mobiles etc., offer.
I adore music, I'm not one for boy bands and sappy stuff. I love heavy rock, some of the more melodic heavy metal (though not averse to a small amount of Slipknot)and Indie... oh how I love Indie. Forget pensioners music, and these days that includes anything from the 50's and 60's, some of it is still fantastic, but I don't get stuck in a specific decade, give me current any day; loving Josh Pyke, the Ting Tings, Placebo, Idlewild, Linkin Park, James, Tegan and Sarah, The Alabama 3 and so many more right now. I would go to more live gigs if time and money allowed. Seeing Green Day in Milton Keynes and Idlewild in Sommerset house were some of the best gigs I have been to. Sadly I have never 'done' Glasonbury, or Leeds/Reading, but it's never too late! :)
I'm a huge science fiction fan, with a little bit of horror thrown in, but I'm going to shut up now or I wont have anything left to write about.
Anyway, it was a love of shiny things, sweet smelling unguents, and a desire to actually be able to put food on the table that led to me to, one cold October night two years ago, sitting at my dining room table (the room furthest away from my teenage children) with a duvet over my head - as you do - for sound insulation, assuring a well spoken Scottish gentleman that I did indeed understand his need to correct me, and the need for corporal punishment in general, and that yes sir thank you for lashing my bottom with a birch, that was one sir... two sir... 'quavering voice' three sir.. thank you sir... I will be a good girl from now on, and so on. However when I shakily put the phone down nearly three hours later, I was beaming, I can do this I thought as I calculated I'd earned £30ish for the pleasure of sitting in my dining room with a duvet over my head. All I had to worry about now was that the company I'd signed up with wasn't a scam, and that I would actually get my money, and thank god two weeks later I did, and a decent amount more too.
There are lots of people out there who think it's easy to be a chat operator, and that they can do their ironing at the same time etc., well if you want to be a crap operator and are happy with letting your gentlemen (and occasionaly a lady) down then maybe it is. However if you want to give a good service and earn decent money it requires pretty sharp acting skills, a desire to please, a bloody thick skin,a sense of humour, a very very very open mind and an ability to think on your feet. To see an example of how to be a bad chat line operator google Graham Nortons' show with Russell Brand on it, myself and the other girls I have met that work the lines would have had great fun with him, switch off the heavy breathing and actually listen to what the customer is saying is the number one rule.
Disappointed as my 'boys' would be to find out, my life is not one constant round of three somes, and casual sex. I am happily married to a professional man who happens to work in an area where it takes a lifetime to start earning a decent salary. I spend a lot of my time interacting with my kids, my many cats, dog, and large extended family, they all live close by, and it is a bit like the Waltons but with more swearing.
I have a myriad of interests, I loved photography when younger using 'proper' cameras, I can take pictures just fine with a digital camera, it's learning what to do next that's the problem. I love nature in all its glory, I'm not the girl that runs screaming from a mouse or spider...cows that's another matter entirely! I don't have a favourite season I love them all, that is the wonderful thing about living in Britain, the changeability, I'm never bored with the weather. I have many pets, and would have more if my husband didn't keep pointing out the mad cat lady from the Simpsons. In my time I have bred hamsters, mice, tropical fish, have kept gerbils, rabbits, Guinea pigs, a rat called Tiddles, a tortoise, water snails (accidentally), cats and dogs. I love to read, for main genre see at bottom of the page, watch t.v. and cinema. I also enjoy exploring the way science and spirituality are seeming to come together again, and like reading things such as Scientific American, New Scientist, and anything else I stumble upon that catches my eye, for example a post I fell over recently referring to an article about intelligent D.N.A. on the parapsychology and alternative medicine forum. I like new technology, although admit to being a bit of a techno twat and take a while to find out everything my new mobiles etc., offer.
I adore music, I'm not one for boy bands and sappy stuff. I love heavy rock, some of the more melodic heavy metal (though not averse to a small amount of Slipknot)and Indie... oh how I love Indie. Forget pensioners music, and these days that includes anything from the 50's and 60's, some of it is still fantastic, but I don't get stuck in a specific decade, give me current any day; loving Josh Pyke, the Ting Tings, Placebo, Idlewild, Linkin Park, James, Tegan and Sarah, The Alabama 3 and so many more right now. I would go to more live gigs if time and money allowed. Seeing Green Day in Milton Keynes and Idlewild in Sommerset house were some of the best gigs I have been to. Sadly I have never 'done' Glasonbury, or Leeds/Reading, but it's never too late! :)
I'm a huge science fiction fan, with a little bit of horror thrown in, but I'm going to shut up now or I wont have anything left to write about.
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