Why I became a chat line operator, and an introduction to my life

Hi, I'm firefly, I'm a 47 year old married mother of two who's ageing rather well. I'm not putting a picture of myself here, my mother would not be amused to come across her daughters beaming face, proclaiming 'oh yes I suck cock on the phone for a living'. Actually I do three jobs, all part time, one of them being in a professional capacity and slightly unusual, so for the purposes of anonymity I can't tell you what it is.

Anyway, it was a love of shiny things, sweet smelling unguents, and a desire to actually be able to put food on the table that led to me to, one cold October night two years ago, sitting at my dining room table (the room furthest away from my teenage children) with a duvet over my head - as you do - for sound insulation, assuring a well spoken Scottish gentleman that I did indeed understand his need to correct me, and the need for corporal punishment in general, and that yes sir thank you for lashing my bottom with a birch, that was one sir... two sir... 'quavering voice' three sir.. thank you sir... I will be a good girl from now on, and so on. However when I shakily put the phone down nearly three hours later, I was beaming, I can do this I thought as I calculated I'd earned £30ish for the pleasure of sitting in my dining room with a duvet over my head. All I had to worry about now was that the company I'd signed up with wasn't a scam, and that I would actually get my money, and thank god two weeks later I did, and a decent amount more too.

There are lots of people out there who think it's easy to be a chat operator, and that they can do their ironing at the same time etc., well if you want to be a crap operator and are happy with letting your gentlemen (and occasionaly a lady) down then maybe it is. However if you want to give a good service and earn decent money it requires pretty sharp acting skills, a desire to please, a bloody thick skin,a sense of humour, a very very very open mind and an ability to think on your feet. To see an example of how to be a bad chat line operator google Graham Nortons' show with Russell Brand on it, myself and the other girls I have met that work the lines would have had great fun with him, switch off the heavy breathing and actually listen to what the customer is saying is the number one rule.

Disappointed as my 'boys' would be to find out, my life is not one constant round of three somes, and casual sex. I am happily married to a professional man who happens to work in an area where it takes a lifetime to start earning a decent salary. I spend a lot of my time interacting with my kids, my many cats, dog, and large extended family, they all live close by, and it is a bit like the Waltons but with more swearing.

I have a myriad of interests, I loved photography when younger using 'proper' cameras, I can take pictures just fine with a digital camera, it's learning what to do next that's the problem. I love nature in all its glory, I'm not the girl that runs screaming from a mouse or spider...cows that's another matter entirely! I don't have a favourite season I love them all, that is the wonderful thing about living in Britain, the changeability, I'm never bored with the weather. I have many pets, and would have more if my husband didn't keep pointing out the mad cat lady from the Simpsons. In my time I have bred hamsters, mice, tropical fish, have kept gerbils, rabbits, Guinea pigs, a rat called Tiddles, a tortoise, water snails (accidentally), cats and dogs. I love to read, for main genre see at bottom of the page, watch t.v. and cinema. I also enjoy exploring the way science and spirituality are seeming to come together again, and like reading things such as Scientific American, New Scientist, and anything else I stumble upon that catches my eye, for example a post I fell over recently referring to an article about intelligent D.N.A. on the parapsychology and alternative medicine forum. I like new technology, although admit to being a bit of a techno twat and take a while to find out everything my new mobiles etc., offer.

I adore music, I'm not one for boy bands and sappy stuff. I love heavy rock, some of the more melodic heavy metal (though not averse to a small amount of Slipknot)and Indie... oh how I love Indie. Forget pensioners music, and these days that includes anything from the 50's and 60's, some of it is still fantastic, but I don't get stuck in a specific decade, give me current any day; loving Josh Pyke, the Ting Tings, Placebo, Idlewild, Linkin Park, James, Tegan and Sarah, The Alabama 3 and so many more right now. I would go to more live gigs if time and money allowed. Seeing Green Day in Milton Keynes and Idlewild in Sommerset house were some of the best gigs I have been to. Sadly I have never 'done' Glasonbury, or Leeds/Reading, but it's never too late! :)

I'm a huge science fiction fan, with a little bit of horror thrown in, but I'm going to shut up now or I wont have anything left to write about.